Hobby? or Job? I need to feed myself!

Hi everyone!
Today I have to talk about the job I would like to do in my life, it's a hard question to answer, because I'm already studying at university, but I'm not pretty sure if it's what I really want in my life... Perhaps I think that life is something too big, too long, so I'm a little confused about what I want in all that time, I think I'm afraid of failing, being wrong about what I want to do in order to live my whole life. I only know that I would never work in an office, I mean, with four walls around me, because I need air, freshness, nature, wind and/or sun, so it can't be on a desk, telephone, or computer all the time... I think I would like to be a painter, an artist, but a very educated one, interested in all kind of arts nowadays,  but I'm not really talented, so I think I would probably die by hungry that way lol...
I would also like to get involved with people, like a museum guide, I think that's a perfect job for me, I like to talk to people, feel that I'm spreading knowledge about art, I don't like the idea of being a teacher, but a guide would be perfect for me, I also love to walk around, and I love art, of course.
I would also like to be a librarian, but maybe it could be too boring for me, even I would spend all the time reading all the books I could.
At least, I have to say that I have some plans for future, which implicate kids, so I would like to travel around the world, doing art research, and hope children's education won't be difficult because of that, instead  it could be a huge source of knowledge and life experience.

I would like to meet...

He was a weird, quite unkown man in his time. He lived in New England in XX century, raised by a religious fanatic mother and some cold aunts. About his father, I don't know, there's no much information about him, only that he became crazy and died when this man was a little boy. Spoiled and scrawny, this boy was raised in a very irregular home, because of his family had gradually lost rank since their arrival to the United States from England. Because of this, this person grew up believeing in the proud of his blood, the despise of the others, and an extremely outrageous to the outside world. But wait, I don't support his thoughts or behaviour, as opposed to him, I think you have to go out to the world, and respect everyone, because everyone's blood is precious. Anyway, this man, solitary and racist, is the one I would had liked to meet because of his fascinating imagery. He became a writer, and in his sick mind he invented a whole universe of terror and epic battles between beings we can hardly imagine. He created a circle of myths, named The Myths of Kthulu, which appear in a supposed book he said was called the Necronomicon, written by an insane arabian named Abdul Al-Azhred  in the Middle Ages. This was an invention, that man and that book doesn`t exist, there are many editions of that book nowadays but they're all false, or written by other people, not Al-Azhred, and neither so old. The man I was talking about before, the one I would have liked to meet, became a prisoner of his own nightmares. He, and some other writers, wanted to reform terror literature. They thought it was too romantic, too "human", with Mary Shelley's and Bram Stocker's legacy, their characters where too close to our imagination: the graves, coffins and blood where too real, too known for every human being, after the war. They needed more sublime, something greater, stronger, far from religious and law, far from HUMAN. So he invented the creatures with kilometres of height, from out of space and out of time, living in a dream that's going to be interrupted by the pray of one single priest. He was terryfied about the sea beacuse he believed that there lived unnamed terrors, and his work is known as cosmic terror because of the size of his creations, bigger than anything we can imagine, only we can understand that knowledge trough the reading. He died when he was only 47, plunged in terrible pain by a gastric cancer. His name: Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

-"Ocean is more ancient than the mountains, and freighted with the memories and the dreams of Time."
H. P. Lovecraft.-

Perfect Day

Sometimes, when at the end of the day I feel it was wasted, unproductive, lazy, I feel it wasn't a good day, I wish I could go back in time and save it, amend it, make it more speeded up, move around, do something, or simply relax myself in a peaceful rest. So, I think that my perfect day would be a day when I would do anything I like, with the beings I love. I can imagine myself waking up in the early morning, climbing a hill near my parents's house, play around in some secret watefalls I know, read a book lying on the wet rocks (it might be a waterproof book lol),  make a pic nic to have breakfast, all this with my boyfriend, family and friends. Walk back to home, make a meeting, with the people who couldn't have gone to the waterfalls beacuse of their physical condition or diseases, have some delicious food for lunch, could be a barbecue but some of my friends wouldn't like it, so we could do some kind of fish, fruit, and/or vegetable skewers, talk about good news, have natural juices. I would like to build something, help to make a greenhouse, or perhaps a playground, or a hole for a pool. If I had a swimming pool, I would like to swim in it, make a swimming pool party, play swimming pool games, make a party at the afternoon or the night, but I don't think it's necessary to be only at night, it could be all day long :)... That's it, I don't think a perfect day might have great things, but share, spread the affection and have beloved company. I also think that for me, a perfect day must be outdoor, with grass, water, sunlight and fresh air.

My favourite song at the moment

Sorry guys, I was supposed to write down this post twelve hours ago, but my mind was in another place as it was a large weekend... When I first read the task, I thought about some songs I had like in the past, like "Duvet" by Boa, because the very piece of music that I like the most at this moment makes me feel a little embarassed to talk about, is a song terribly sad and a little emo, which is "Cry for you" by Tool. I use to like depressive and a quite gothic songs, but it's not equal as my feelings, I mean, I don't feel sad in my life because I like those kind of songs.
The song I'm gonna say it's my favourite at the moment is "Triumph of Defeat" by Epica, the music group I've talked about some posts back. I've heard this for the first time a couple of years ago, looking for some music on the web, when I'd found in Youtube this song and it called my attention because of its title. It appeared to be something interesting, and of course the name of the group, Epica, had seemed special to me too. So I heard it, and I thought it was amazing, very epical, very un-historycal. I thougt that the other songs of the group would be like this one: without lyrics, only with voices and a choir, singing like angels or demons as well, and with a guitar, drums, and bass. Not all the other songs were my taste, but I like some of them too.
Unfortunately, they didn't play this song when they came to Chile this year, it was a shame.

Taking advantage of the ocean

Hi dear all!
Today I'm gonna talk about somewhere I would like to go, a place I would like to visit. When they ask me about this, the first place that spreads to my mind is France, because of its lovely places, museums, historycal streets, the famous Eiffel Tower, the Versailles Palace, the thiny little cafes (so romantic), the restaurants, the haute-couture festivals, the mimes, the parfum factories, the beautiful houses and gardens...
I also think in Japan: about japanese culture, the zen, the Mount Fuji, the kimonos, the Tea Ceremony, the delicious food, so lovely to see lol (sorry, it's what I think...), the amazing Manga-Anime Festivals, with cosplays (people disguised of their favourite characters, some of them are UN-BE-LIEVE-VA-BLE), gaming tournaments, merchandising, the rice fields, the Ghibli Museum (Hayao Miyasaki's anime studio), the pagodas, and of course the gorgeous sakura cherry trees (I don't care they're so sickening pink, I LOVE THEM).
I also think about Italy, because of The Vatican, the masterpieces in their art collection, the Sixtin Chapel, the libraries, the Chapels, the statues, Venice, the antique Roman culture, etc.
But there's a place I would like to know, because a very deep but special reason: I have a little phobia about the sea (I know it's incorrect to say it like this, because the phobias are never a little thing, but, anyway...), so all the other places have a little inconvenient, the closeness to the sea. So I had developed an strange but understandable love for mountains, lakes, rivers, hills and even volcanoes, and places that are very high. But never near to the ocean.

The place I would LOOOVE to visit is Switzerland, because of their mountains, basically. They make me feel safe. Maybe it's some kind of freaky supervising instinct, the matter is that I'm terrified about living near to the sea, but I would love to live in a mountainous place. I love all the vibrant green in the area, the fresh air, the cold wind, the snow, the lakes, the fields, the castles, and the Alps, of course.  

Kidunguënewn Nguen!

In spite of the social and political advances of the last time, specially the signing of the Human Rights and the eradication of most of the torture and slavery practices in the west, there's still in our conscience the deep idea about the inferiority of some races, a colonialist thought, which keep us believeing in a specific code of beauty (the caucasian) and an admiration for ancient and actual european culture. All this things make us think that our ethnical origins are brut, thick or mentally inferior. So we deny them, and extol our european genes, the spanish ones.

Because of this, we use to pretend that the lands that were stolen to the mapuche people were made the most by the spaniards or their sons. But the matter is not if the mapuche did or did not take advantage of their lands, the matter is that there was steal, which one to the eyes of the prevailing capitalism was not...

They don't care about in-touch-care of land, or the attachment to nature, they just care about the production, and the profits, of course. So, the lands that we could say were "by right" theirs, were taken by the wealthy only because the mapuche had no legal papers that said those lands were from their property. They didn't understand the belongings to the land of the men and the men to the land. In those times (and today is quite similaire), the land that is not sown and profitable is for bed or transitable way, but any other use must be lucrative, because it's all about the productive system.

The mapuche interests, which are more related to the religion and rituals, were not important for the landlords, and not even important nowadays. They sow the land and celebrate the good harvests, but they produce for themselves, not in a production scale like the merchant system.

"Independence. Freedom.

kidungüneun./ To live independently, in freedom: kidunguënewn nguen"

-http://diccionarios.serindigena.org/index.php?a=term&d=1&t=5703

A nightmare before breakfast

Hi everyone,
today I was asked to write about anything I'd like to, so I'm going to write about a nightmare I had last night.
I was entering to my sister's bedroom, where my whole family was, when suddenly the sky became darker (in the middle of the day), and I saw a huge mountain of water coming to us, bigger than the hills around, it was an apocalyptic tsunami. I screamed and said to my family to run away to the room in front, where the water would hit us a little slower than there (I know it was ridiculous, but you know how dreams are). They runned to that room but I went to the next, and I found my six year old niece beside me, she had followed me and couldn't go back with her mother because the water was very close to us, so I waited for the big hit, waiting for the crashing windows and the wave that would take us away and death...
But nothing happened. I walked to the window to see what was happening outside the house, I moved the curtain to one side carefully, just a little bit, and saw the most terrific thing ever: the sky wasn't blue, grey or even dark as the night, it was like the sun had come closer and burning the atmosphere, it looked like an ocean of lava, moving around without fall down from the sky, it was terrifying. Suddenly I knew the sun had certainly come closer to Earth, and its heat had evaporated all the water I've seen before coming in the tsunami. I saw in the yard a car, and I recognized it as my cousin's, then I saw her lying inside there, with her family too, but the sun burned them, it was the radiation, I was watching them at a moment and then their clothes burned, their skin, and finally their bones evaporated like air. I knew we couldn't go out of the house because we would die in a second, it was strange but the house protected us from the sun heat, we only had to be carefull with the light that came from the windows, we shouldn't be directly exposed to sunlight. My skin started to itch desperately, I knew it was sun radiation, that would slowly burn and kill us all. I surrounded my little niece with clothes, to protect her from the sunlight. Then I took another look through the window, moving the curtain. I saw thousands and thousands of alien spaceships, I knew they were strange because they were too modern to be humancrafts. I was scared, I knew they were bad, they didn't make the Earth distruction, it was been human being, they were only waiting for this moment to come to Earth. All the spaceships were flying flush the ground, and one of them stopped and started to move back: they had seen me. I quickly closed the curtain, and heard some footsteps coming to me. I opened the curtain once more with the most care I could have: there were two boots, I knew he had seen me when he made a signal to the others with his boot, knocking twice the floor. I couldn't attain to see his body or his face because I closed the curtain and held it. Five blue little birds pass through the window and stood on the floor, they were machines, made to spy everywhere, and I knew they sent them to make sure we were alive. They looked at me and I knew that in every moment that being outside would crash the windows and catch us, so I held my niece's arm, maybe too hard, and pushed her to the hallway, out the room, and told her to stay with her mom. She runned away, and I closed the door. Then I looked  to those five little mechabirds, and I knew that, at least, it would take a little more time for them to find my loving beings.